One small thing
Can I just run something by you?
Dr Lucinda Homer Coaching
Hello there,
When you started out in your career and you did not have any experience, it was accepted that you would need to ask for help. Part of the learning process involved developing enough experience to know when you had reached the limit of your competence.
Can I just run something by you?
I'm sure you remember the niggly feeling when you thought that you knew what to do, but there is a little voice inside asking "Are you sure?" And then the relief of someone more senior agreeing with your plan after you asked "Can I just run something by you?" Your confidence grew a little bit and you knew that you could handle it on your own next time.
We all need a sense check sometimes. It does not matter how senior, experienced, or confident you are, there will be times when you need to benchmark your plan. It might be about a complex problem or a difficult conversation that you need to have.
Sometimes you are lucky and have trusted colleagues who you can ask. If you run your own business that can be trickier to manage and you may need to look to your network.
But who do you ask when your plan might involve a change to your job or life at home? What if you know that your family or best friend will give you unsolicited advice and try to talk you out of your plan?
That was a big question for me when I was thinking of making a career change that would have a huge impact on my job and my family. I'm the sort of person who spends time working through the pros and cons of a situation before making my decision. I do much of that work on my own but there are times when I want a sense check.
What if you know that your family or best friend will give you unsolicited advice and try to talk you out of your plan?
There was no way that I felt comfortable discussing my desire to leave my job with any of my colleagues. I knew that I needed to trust whoever I let into my thought process. That person was my husband and the poor man had to listen to my machinations and prevarications for months!
What can you do if you need an independent, non judgemental sense check?
Find out as much as you can about how others solved a similar dilemma. They may have some genius ideas that you have not thought about.
Spend time working on the problem yourself. List all the pros and cons. You may find that when you get the problem out of your head and on to paper that the answer becomes clear. Or the actual problem becomes smaller, so that you can target how to solve it.
Think about what the worst case scenario could be and how you would manage it.
Think about what life will be like if you do nothing. Hint: nothing will change.
Discuss the issue with a trusted ex-colleague or friend who is outside your workplace/situation and will provide impartial advice.
Seek counsel from a mentor if you have one.
Look for advisory services that may be able to provide help for your specific problem. For example, if you are planning to return to work after a long break there are organisations that will help you to write a CV and prepare for interviews.
Consider working with a coach. A coach provides a safe space for you to work on your problem. A good coach listens to you and reflects back what they hear. They use questions to help you to work through the issues, reframe how you think about them, and then plan what action steps you want to take. They are non judgemental and will not tell you what to do.
If you are worried about regretting your decision, Daniel Pink's book ​"The power of regret - how looking backwards moves us forward"​ might be good bedtime reading.
My own experience has been that for every door I chose to walk through several more opened and expanded my choices.
Something else to read...
"It’s an age-old problem — the NHS wants to wash its hands of us"
Mariella Frostrup
Prefer audio? Then check this out...
"How to fail - Joe Wicks on addiction, homeschooling and body image"
Elizabeth Day
Coaching Prompt
"What conversation do you need to have?"
3 songs long
I chose 3 songs for the playlist because it lasts for 10 minutes (ish). That 10 minutes is the perfect length of time for you to either listen, relax, do an exercise snack, walk round the block, or do anything you fancy to music (go wild with your imagination). You can listen to my playlist or make one of your own.
That's it for this week. If you would like to explore how to take the next steps please ​check out my website​ to find out more about working with me. I have one 1-2-1 place available for February and two places for March. ​I would love to chat with you​ to see how I can help.
Love from,
Lucinda x
P.S.
What else?
To find out more about working with me, book a no obligation call. There is no charge, just an exchange of our time. I would love to hear from you.​ Book here.​
I have an online course that can help you with balance. You can find out more here:​ "Getting a balanced life."