One small thing - 5 ideas to help you stop worrying about what other people think.
Hello there,
Welcome to my newsletter “One small thing.” I am so pleased that you are here. I help busy, professional women to escape from frustrated, miserable and exhausted to living life and doing the work that matters most to you.
Most of you will know that I made some big changes to the way that I work back in 2016. You can read more about that on my website and in this blog post. The changes in the way that I work allow me to live a life that I want, instead of a life that I thought I "should" do. So many of you get bogged down in jobs that you no longer enjoy and feel frustrated that you cannot do anything about it. But you can make small changes that have a huge impact to the way that you feel about work and life. The ripples of those changes have an enormous impact on everyone around you too. Job crafting is a topic that I plan to discuss in more detail soon.
Was it easy? Absolutely not. Being self employed and running two businesses is hard work. But being in control of how I work and what I do is extremely important to me. That is something that I remind myself about on the days when I have self doubts and things are not going the way that I want them to. One of my core values is trust, and trusting in myself forms a key part of my decision making. Knowing your core values is incredibly valuable for setting boundaries and making decisions that feel good. It is one of the things that I help my clients to define in the work that we do together. You can find out more about my online course here.
After I left my job lots of people had some interesting thoughts about my choices that they shared either with me or my friends. One male colleague told my friend that I would be back within 6 months with my tail between my legs - he is still waiting. Another male colleague asked my husband if it was nice having me home full time as a housewife - he lost his smile when my husband told him that I was earning just as much but working less hours. And one of my female friends told me that I was lucky I had something else I could do. I do agree that I am fortunate but I have worked hard to make my "luck" happen.
Indeed one of the major things that held me back from making changes sooner was the fear about "what people will think." It took a lot of work on my mindset in the intervening years, but now I know these 5 things:
I have no control over what others think, feel, or do.
I do have control over what I think, feel, and do.
There is no point wasting my energy worrying about what others think about my choices (see point 1).
I can pivot and change how I think about and do things whenever I want (see point 2).
As I get older, I don't give a f*** about what other people think.
That realisation is so liberating.
So when I find myself in the doldrums about how my business is going, or when I find myself sneakily comparing myself to others (who I think are doing better than me), or when I have niggly doubts that a new idea might not be working, I think about points 1-5 and regroup.
I remind myself that I am exactly where I need to be and that I am learning all the time. You see, I am still working hard on my luck.
There is more happening on Substack...
I have decided to offer an additional paid subscription on Substack. This will allow me to increase the value I offer while also providing me with an income for the hard work that I put into my writing. It is called “Beyond Success” and aims to take you beyond the conventional parameters of success to finding the ones that matter to you.
The paid subscription will be £10 per month initially and include "One small thing" once per month, a monthly longer form post with a voice or video recording, and a monthly discussion webinar about the topic in the long form post. If you cannot make it to the webinar, I plan to make the recordings available for you to watch on catch up. You will have access to the full catalogue of my paid posts. There will also be a private chat function.
I will be covering similar topics to the things that you are used to me writing about but with an additional focus on the issues that women bring to executive coaching sessions. It will all start in July…
If you want to continue with the free subscription, that is also great! I will continue to post “One small thing” on a monthly basis.
Something else to read...
"Self-care: why looking after No 1 isn’t always best for your wellbeing"
David Robson
Prefer audio? Then check this out...
"Dame Arlene Phillips-I know the power of love"
How to fail with Elizabeth Day
Coaching Prompt
"What do you want to do next?"
What have you been dreaming of doing? What have you been putting off? What will it feel like when you get it done?
Be honest with yourself and then make a start.
3 songs long
I chose 3 songs for the playlist because it lasts for 10 minutes (ish). That 10 minutes is the perfect length of time for you to either listen, relax, do an exercise snack, walk round the block, or do anything you fancy to music (go wild with your imagination). You can listen to my playlist or make one of your own.
That's it for this week. If you would like to explore how to take the next steps please check out my website to find out more about working with me. I have two places left for one to one coaching starting in mid July, and I would love to chat with you to see how I can help you to make a start on your next fabulous adventure.
Best wishes,
Lucinda x