One small thing
When life is complicated, it pays to keep things simple.
Hello there,
So often in life we get overwhelmed with stuff. We can be busy but ticking along quite nicely, and then from out of nowhere something extra arrives and throws everything off. Balls get dropped, plates stop spinning and you just want to crawl into bed to hide.
One extra thing can add in so much stress and make life so complicated that you cannot see the wood for the trees. It can make you grumpy, snappy, and irritable and the world does not get you at your best. Although you think that you are good at being professional and try to keep life and work separate, your feelings and behaviour have an impact on everyone else around you.
When that happens it pays to have something in your back pocket to try to keep things simple. What can you let go of? What can you move from your to do list? Who can you ask for help? What can you do differently?
It is a good idea to be true to yourself and not buckle under the weight of expectation of yourself and others. A read of Sarah Knight's book: "The Life changing magic of not giving a f**k"might also be a good plan.
When my son was little his class had a soft toy, we will call him Bob. The children were chosen in turn to bring Bob home and document all their adventures together in a big notebook. He had told me about it and was clearly excited for his turn.
I was dreading it. It would mean that in addition to going to work, managing our home, juggling childcare and being a mum, I would have to think of things to do with Bob. I would have to make sure that as well as his reading, my son would have to complete the extra writing homework. He did not like homework in any form.
Eventually our turn came and, joy of joys, it was a half term holiday when I was working. I took Bob out of his bag and looked through the notebook. It was hilarious, the parents at the school were competitive at the best of times but there was not a shred of evidence that any child's work was in the notebook. Every adventure became bigger and better (and more expensive) than the last. The parents tried to out do each other at every turn.
There was no way that I had the time or energy to buy into this nonsense. I decided there and then that it was time for things to get real. We were not off to Disneyland or some fabulous tropical holiday that half term (or indeed any other) and I would be juggling two small children and work. Bob would have to fit in and the write ups would be done by my son. Bob went to Sainsburys, spent a day with grandparents, had a couple of visits to the local park, and the highlight of half term was a trip to the Wacky Warehouse for birthday party.
I sat with my son and we chose some photos to go into the notebook with his (very short) write up of each day. Job done. We kept it simple and I kept my sanity intact. My hope was that it spared another working parent from the stress and the bar that had been raised ridiculously high by the rest of the parents. Fortunately Bob did not come back with my son for the 6 week summer holiday. I think the teacher realised that it might be a bad idea...
So the next time that one extra thing threatens to overwhelm your very being, please remember to ask yourself:
What can you let go of?
What can you move from your to do list?
Who can you ask for help?
What can you do differently?
Something else to read...
"Long lunches, casual friendships, no one to worry about: solo holidays are brilliant for older women like me"
Joanna Moorhead
Prefer audio? Then check this out...
"#433 Bitesize|How the modern epidemic of perfectionism is impacting our health."
Dr Rangan Chatterjee and Will Storr
Coaching Prompt
"What can you do differently?"
If you are a creature of habit, what new thing can you try to make things simple for yourself?
3 songs long
I chose 3 songs for the playlist because it lasts for 10 minutes (ish). That 10 minutes is the perfect length of time for you to either listen, relax, do an exercise snack, walk round the block, or do anything you fancy to music (go wild with your imagination). You can listen to my playlist or make one of your own.
That's it for this week. If you would like to explore how to take the next steps please check out my website to find out more about working with me. I have one 1-2-1 places available for March. I would love to chat with you to see how I can help you to make a start on your next fabulous adventure.
Don't forget to sign up for my group programme waitlist, coming in April - "Staging your comeback."
Love from,
Lucinda x
Great questions and a reminder of what to do with overwhelm, thank you