One small thing
How to put things in perspective and get the most out of tricky conversations.
Hello there,
I hope you are all well and have good things planned for the week ahead.
I am putting the finishing touches to a workshop, on leadership, that I am excited to be facilitating tomorrow. We are going to explore:
Leadership is for everyone
How to lead when you feel out of your depth
How to speak up in difficult situations
Why wellbeing is important for leaders
Prepping for the workshop has given me so many ideas for my newsletter. There is so much in there that I could share with you today, but I thought I would focus on one small thing...because that is what this newsletter is about after all.
Perspective
I remember very few things about art classes at school, but I do remember enjoying the lesson on drawing with perspective. We had to incorporate using perspective into a design and mine was an album cover for a band. I made the name of the band pop out of the drawing and upped my doodling game from then on. Now that I knew how to give depth to a 2D image, there was no stopping me.
One of the most important things to consider when you are about to have a difficult conversation or manage a complex situation is perspective.
How can you give depth to the problem and your solution?
It is so easy to get caught up in your own thoughts and judgements, that you may miss something that you wish you had thought about.
When a problem is viewed through a different lens, alternative solutions may come to light. This also holds true when you uncover unhelpful beliefs about yourself or a situation.
In the last coaching session, I had with my coach, we worked through 3 simple questions to add perspective and help me to view a problem with fresh eyes. She asked me:
Why are you the best person for the job?
What will they learn from you?
What will your senior colleagues learn from you?
It was a great way to help me reframe some unhelpful thoughts about the tech failing or some of the content missing the mark in my upcoming workshop.
What else can you try?
You can gain perspective by discussing things with a trusted friend or colleague who is outside the problem. If they are not invested in the problem or the solution they will offer an impartial opinion.
It may also be helpful to think about what the real problem is. Is it a simple surface issue, or is the problem coming from somewhere else? That knowledge will help to keep you on track when you are in the middle of the tricky conversation.
It is a good idea to think about the different ways that the conversation may pan out. Then you can prepare for each version to the best of your ability and minimise nasty surprises.
Have a pause. In the heat of the moment, you may react in a way that you regret. If you give yourself time to pause and reflect on the problem, that is when perspective has a chance to creep in. Go ahead and write your angry email, but then keep it in your draft folder for a few hours or over night. Read it again later and decide if you still want to send it as it is. I suspect you will edit it heavily...
Finally it is a good idea to check in with the other person to see how your feedback or point of view has landed. If they have not understood your point of view, the conversation may go in an unexpected direction. They may have a very different perspective about the problem from you. If both of you are crystal clear then you have a much better chance of moving things forward.
What else do you do to gain perspective?
Something else to read...
"The vorfreude secret: 30 zero-effort ways to fill your life with joy"
Rachel Dixon
Prefer audio? Then check this out...
"How to present an idea."
Squiggly careers podcast
Coaching Prompt
"What can they learn from you?"
This is a great question for boosting your confidence and helping tone down imposter thoughts.
3 songs long
I chose 3 songs for the playlist because it lasts for 10 minutes (ish). That 10 minutes is the perfect length of time for you to either listen, relax, do an exercise snack, walk round the block, or do anything you fancy to music (go wild with your imagination). You can listen to my playlist or make one of your own.
That's it for this week. If you would like to explore how to take the next steps please check out my website to find out more about working with me. I have two places left for one to one coaching starting in May, and I would love to chat with you to see how I can help you to make a start on your next fabulous adventure.
Please do get in touch to discuss how I can help deliver a workshop for you. I tailor the content to fit your workplace and business goals.
Best wishes,
Lucinda x
A great reminder about the need for perspective. I find I get 'stuck' on a problem especially if it's writing and try to push and push through it. A different view from yourself or others is always a smart moere. Thanks for writing this, I just subscribed.