How to decide what your next BIG thing is going to be in 2023.
You know how you get to your 40s or 50s and you feel a bit stuck in life?
I know what feeling stuck is like and how hard it is to find the courage to do anything about it. I knew that I wanted something to change, but I was not entirely clear what it was. Looking back with the benefit of hindsight, I was afraid to admit what I wanted to change.
I tweaked lots of things before I finally changed career in my 40s. As it turned out, changing career WAS my one BIG thing, but I did not declare it for 5 years. I spent a lot of time working out what I wanted to do and wrote a blog post about how I did it here.
There was lots of learning, experimentation, procrastination, and anxiety along the way. The blog post describes my self-coaching journey. Sometimes I regret that I did not have a coach to help me, but I did not know coaching existed back then. Women like us, don’t need fixing or rescuing. We have all the tools we need to succeed, but sometimes support, challenge, and accountability from another person helps to give us a push in the right direction. My convoluted path made me into the person I am today, and every pivot opened a new door to exciting possibilities.
Setting goals is easy
Some of you will find deciding what you want and setting new goals easy. Lose 5Kg – go on a diet, learn a new language – sign up for a class, improve your management skills – attend a workshop …
For some problems that is the correct and straightforward way to solve the issue.
The problem arises when you want something that cannot be solved by a technical fix like learning a new skill, downloading an app, or buying “life changing” stuff. That simply will not work for BIG things. A technical fix works well to mend a surface defect, but what if the itch to change remains unscratched? The feeling that something is not right is still there.
That suggests that you have not found your one BIG thing yet, or you are afraid to admit what it is. That fear is normal, and it come from a place in your brain that is designed to keep you safe. You have found a successful way of being you, that has got you to where you are now. All your career and life achievements are rooted in that success. You know that being you works, but that familiar way of being you is protecting the status quo and preventing you from getting to where you want to go next.
In my last post, I wrote about the book “Immunity to Change” and I have been working through my immunity to change map. I have got as far as setting my wellbeing as my next one BIG thing. This is not about a willpower-based mass plan of action, but an adaptive change that I can maintain for the long term. I know that I am going to find this hard, and I have the library of “New Year, New me” journals to prove it!
My wellbeing pillars include relaxation, sleep, mindfulness, exercise, nutrition, and mental health. I have started January 2023 well and adopted a mantra of “One small thing every day.” This makes it easier to incorporate something on even the worst of days – a permission slip for a snooze on Saturday afternoon was quite a revelation! It also means that I can keep perfectionism in check, one missed workout is not a disaster, and it can be replaced with another small thing. Win, win.
Achieving your one BIG thing, will involve personal growth and making an adaptive change. The good news is that you do not need to have a personality transplant to get there, but you will need a change in mindset.
Your next one BIG thing will have an impact in many areas of your life. I know that it is worth taking the time to get it right.
If you would like to work with me on your next BIG thing, please click here to visit my website and book a call.